Bad Game Animations

General / Thursday, February 28th, 2019

God, I don’t even know if I’d consider that the smartest response. Not the smartest response possible, I mean, (digital beeping) but like, sometimes having compassion is what’s smart, you know? (sighing) Although fighting’s cool too. I mean, you are a cave woman from the future who hunts robot dinosaurs, so maybe the fist is the most in-character. Oh man, I don’t know, I don’t know. Tell me this guy’s whole backstory again. Omit no detail. – Dude! When I said you could help me choose dialogue options I was just trying to make you feel involved. Since when do you agonize over decisions in video games? I remember I asked you which Mortal Kombat X Online clan I should join and you just yanked the TV plug out of the wall.

I think it’s the graphics, man. I mean, most of the games you play, you’re asking me to care about some lizard with a mask on or some anime bobblehead getting stabbed by a sheet of construction paper. – If you are referring to the tragic assassination of Aerith, then so help me God. – I wouldn’t even know because I don’t even care. (gasping) And that’s why, to people who aren’t freaks, graphics will always matter. – But Grim Fandango. But Inside. But surely Journey. – Hey, I can yell words at you too. You know, dangerous mouth. Loudness, snake pass. – That last one actually is a game. – God damn it, the point is, you’re so proud of how video games are this different medium from movies, except every time I see you play a game that I actually end up giving a (bleep) about, it’s because the graphics are super good and it almost looks like a movie. Last of Us, Red Dead Redemption. I can only name two because I’m not a huge nerd. – I could name eight, but that doesn’t make you any less wrong. By that logic, L.A. Noire should be the most engrossing game of all time.

That had painstaking facial animations, to the point that you could tell when someone was like, lying or hiding an emotion. You know, acting suspicious. And yet, spoiler alert, very few people cared. – How can you say that good graphics aren’t the end goal, when they’ve been the end goal of every kind of entertainment in history? – Explain how? – Oh I will, because I spend as much time bettering myself in the real world as you do bettering characters in virtual worlds. – Hey, I said explain, not ruin our friendship. – Sorry, but take any media. – Norwegian death metal. – Shut up for a second. Take any visual media, let’s start with theater. You know, back in ancient Greece, actors would literally hold up giant masks representing their emotion because the stadiums were so big, that was the only way to tell what their character was feeling